Making hard calls

I love turning up to church and seeing every seat full. Nothing fills me with greater joy than seeing my fellow brothers and sisters gathered and ready, eager to learn from God’s word. I love it when every member of our home group shows up, Bible in hand, and fills my lounge room. The more the merrier, the squishier the better, the more crowded the sofa the more encouraged I am!

But it’s often not like that, is it? Often there are people who are missing, members of your group who show up sporadically and then there’s the person who attends all the socials but never the studies.

Previously, we’ve discussed the discouraging problem of poor attendance. There are times when poor attendance of people in your group means having to make hard calls and chase people up.

It’s important that, no matter how awkward, we keep in contact and check in with these occasional attenders. There could be something going on in their lives that may be hindering them from attending. Perhaps they are in need of prayer or some practical love from us. Ultimately, we want to help them to be following Christ and as Hebrews 10:24 says, we want to encourage them to “consider how we may spur one another toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another...”

Making a follow up phone call to check in with someone can seem like a daunting thing to do. Sandy Grant, from St Michael’s Cathedral Wollongong, shares his tips for planning and making that simple (yet sometimes scary) phone call.

Planning the Call

Before calling or visiting someone who was absent, consider whether they may have reason to be away (e.g. holidays or illness).

If applicable, it may also be wise to find out if they have been regularly attending growth group lately and their involvement at growth group (or perhaps they have been at a different church service or visiting another group that you are unaware of.)

Consider various points of contact:

• Church Notices and Events -  Is there anything they missed by being away in the last few weeks, such as a handout or notice or event, that they might be interested in?

• Personal Interest - What interests the person who has been absent? What do they like to talk about?

• Social Contact - Could you suggest meeting this person for coffee or a meal if they are avoiding church or would benefit from personal attention for some other reason of Christian growth?

Thinking through the above may give you some helpful and caring conversational possibilities.

A Sample Script

The “script” provided is not intended to think through all of the directions a conversation could go. Rather, the goal of this script is to help you provide someone the opportunity to inform you they were either actually at church or to let you know why they weren’t.



Please use your own wording that matches your normal conversational style. You can of course use any other common sense approach that could help show care for the person or encourage their growth in knowledge and love of Christ.

After the Call

You may need to stop and organise any further action you promised to undertake for or with them. You might also need to report any pastoral issues back to a pastoral staff member (with care), a small group leader or another Ministry Team Member (again, only with very great discretion).

You should also pray for them and keep a special eye out for them at church in the next couple of weeks.

 Authors: Sandy Grant (St Michael's Cathedral Wollongong) and Tara Sing (Matthias Media)