A pastor’s journey: How the text shaped my ministry

I’ve been going through a season of soul-searching recently. One of the things I’ve reflected on is that, as you progress in ministry, you have to manage change on a constant basis. I understood this on one level going into ministry. I understood that the world changes, people change, and cultures change. But one area I had not given a lot of attention to was the fact that I change over the course of ministry.

Let me be clear: I am not saying I’ve changed in my core understanding of what is true and what is false. What I’ve realized is that I have changed in my understanding of truth and the implications of these truths; striving to understand one area of ministry opened doors to understanding other parts. Unfortunately, I didn’t see that this process was changing the way I approached ministry, and this at times caused stress in the church and subsequently myself. Had I understood, I think I would’ve been able to spare both my church and myself some unneeded worry.

The early years and a first aha!

When I began in pastoral ministry, my goal was to preach and teach expositionally through the Bible’s books. I studied languages in Bible college; I purchased books on Greek, Hebrew and grammar; I read technical commentaries; listened to countless lectures and sermons—all with the intent to get the text right. I had a great relationship with the church, because we were all learning a lot. My focus was on accuracy, and people gave me the space to study.

Through this process, I had a huge aha! moment. I still remember sitting in my office, reading John 5:39, and coming to the realization that the text is not just about grammar: it is about Jesus! I know this sounds like a rather obvious statement, and intellectually I already knew, but when I read what Jesus said my hermeneutics shifted dramatically. From that day forward I moved from just exegeting the Scriptures to seeing the glory of Christ throughout the Bible—a deeper purpose than just grammar. 

That started my quest to understand the gospel of Jesus. I studied my Bible with a new-found desire for its christological structure. I filled my shelves with the writings of great scholars and theologians, who taught me about Jesus and how history is centred upon him. This was again a wonderful time for the church and I. They struggled at times to see Christ as the centre of the Scriptures, but together we embraced this change.

The middle years and the next aha!

As I studied Jesus, another bud flowered in my understanding. There is no way to glory in Jesus without understanding that he is building his church. Suddenly, as I read my Bible, I began to understand the church’s purpose and nature: that to be part of Christ is to be called out of the world into the body of Jesus, a community essential to the new life. I am in union with others, and I have a calling to use my gifts to build up others around me in this body. I share in worship and love with my Christian family. Suddenly my library was getting filled with books on the church, and what it means to be part of this great body that Jesus gave his life to build.

My church embraced this understanding too, but also struggled to set aside an individualistic reading for a corporate understanding, because much of our culture has been influenced by understanding the Bible as God’s love letter to each of us rather than to the entire community. This was not a painful challenge, but a challenge nonetheless.

The present and the next aha!

But the lessons did not end there. When I studied my Bible to understand Jesus and his church, I came to my most recent realization: the church exists to carry on the work of Jesus to draw people from every nation of the world into union with him. The church exists not just to be a healthy expression of the union of the gospel, but also to extend and reproduce into every nation on earth. It exists for mission. It is amazing to see how many times the nations are referenced in the Bible as being God’s objective.

This most recent lesson has challenged me to think about more than just the accuracy of my preaching, the clarity of my gospel teaching, or the health and wellbeing of my church. It has challenged me to think about how we, as Christ’s body, are living out the purposes for which Christ designed the church. This has been fun, exciting, enriching, rewarding and terrifying.

It has also caused me to push people too hard, to demand that their intensity match mine. I became anxious that we were not engaged enough. Rather than recognizing that God took me through a process, so similarly I should be patient with his people, I wanted them there now. I have now learned that this eagerness is good, but it must be tempered with God’s shepherd’s heart. I have to walk people from the Scriptures to Jesus to his church to his mission. Taking time to work through their fears, I must acknowledge to both the leadership and the body that I have changed and developed.

Learning for me has not stopped. I didn’t enter ministry a completed Christian, and I have lots to grow in left. But this journey has taught me much about myself, God, and how to shepherd, and I’m grateful for God’s patience with me. What a ride! I know it isn’t over; I cannot imagine what’s next.