A layperson’s guide to giving up your life

What does it mean to do ministry but not be in ministry? How can you stay focused on ministry as a goal when it's not your full-time profession? Karen Beilharz tells her story, and how she came to answer some of these questions.

Have you ever felt like you're headed in a certain direction and then the door you're poised to walk through suddenly slams in your face? That's how I felt at the end of 2004. I had just completed a two-year part-time ministry apprenticeship with the Christian group at the University of Wollongong alongside my husband, Ben. Although the time I had spent working with students and children had been encouraging and eye-opening, it had also been draining and often discouraging. During the apprenticeship, I had led and co-led Bible study groups and training courses, I had organized a women's retreat, I had discipled girls, I had taught and coordinated Sunday school, and I had given my first evangelistic talk to an audience of 60 women (none of whom became Christian). But as it ended, I realized that working in people ministry was not something I could sustain full-time. I felt like a failure. Part of me knew this was ridiculous: I had done what I could, I learned a lot, and I was now wiser and more knowledgeable. But part of me couldn't help dwelling on my inadequacies and weaknesses, thinking I wasn't good/smart/talented/godly enough for ministry. Nothing I had done had borne obvious fruit; perhaps I wasn't useful to God. I wondered what to do next. Should I return to my boring job in university administration? Should I forge a career in some other area? As a kid, I had always wanted to be a writer (well, until adults told me I couldn't make a living from it; then I set my sights on being an editor). Ben was commencing theological study anyway, so I enrolled in a one-year diploma at Moore College in Sydney, and figured I'd work out what to do with the rest of my life after that. However, around the time college started, I had a thought: I knew that people ministry wasn't something I could do full-time, but what about writing ministry? It was a possibility raised at a training conference we attended. I even talked about it with Kirsten Birkett, who was working at Matthias Media at the time. Writing was something I'd always done—even during ministry training, when Ben and I had written and distributed articles for our students and run training sessions for Christians who liked writing. Would writing ministry be something that Matthias Media would be willing to train me in? I knew Tony Payne because I had been a member of a writing group that had met regularly at Matthias Media during 2002. (That group no longer exists.) So I decided to contact him about possibilities. He suggested I come on board as their ‘catechist’ while I was studying. I agreed, and spent much of that year helping out with The Briefing and occasionally working on products. When I graduated, Matthias Media took me on part-time as a staff editor. I've now been here for five and a half years, mainly being responsible for The Briefing. During my time here, I've come to realize several things:

1. It's not about you

This was the lesson I had to learn repeatedly as a ministry apprentice: ministry is not about me, and thinking that it is—thinking thoughts like “I'm so hopeless, God can't use me”—misses the point. Everything that happens, happens because of the Lord—whether it be conversion, growth, training or teaching. We have the privilege of being his fellow workers. As Paul says, “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.” (1 Cor 3:6-7). God uses me in my weakness—nay, in spite of my weakness, for my weakness brings him glory. Despite what the world may think, my true value does not lie in my abilities, and the Lord is more interested in my godliness than what I can achieve for him.

2. You don't have to be in ministry to do ministry

This might seem obvious, but it's still a point worth making because it's easy to think that ministry is only the domain of pastors, Bible study leaders, Sunday school teachers, youth group leaders and ministry apprentices. Sure, you may not be on the path to full-time people ministry, but why should that stop you from supporting, encouraging and discipling other brothers and sisters in Christ?

3. The important thing is to maintain a ministry mindset

During my ministry apprenticeship, my trainer encouraged me to try new things—walk-up evangelism, Sunday school teaching, co-leading high school Scripture classes, and so on. It gave me a taste of the variety of things that could further God's kingdom. At Matthias Media, I discovered that that sort of ministry mindset continues even when you're not in the high pressure cooker of ministry training. Month by month, the content of The Briefing would sharpen and challenge my thinking, leading me to think things like, “My friend would find this article helpful; I should send it to her” and “This writer has helped clarify my thinking on this issue. I should bring it up in Bible study”, and so on. Of course, this ministry mindset doesn't just apply to The Briefing; it applies to everything Matthias Media does. Our passion is to see followers of Jesus established and fruitful in the faith, as per our mission statement. Thus every resource we produce aims to encourage Christians to abandon their lives to Christ, pray constantly in his name, and speak the Bible's life-changing word whenever and however they can.

4. You can find opportunities to serve God and his people everywhere

Once you have eyes to see them, opportunities to serve God and his people open up in a plethora of ways. In my case, I came to see why the communication and administration gifts God had given me were an enormous asset in my role. But I also found avenues to exercise those gifts outside of Matthias Media—for example, in contributing occasionally to Salt, the Australian Fellowship of Evangelical Students magazine; convening a Christian writing group; and running the odd seminar as part of women's fellowship. Furthermore, even though I wasn't in ‘official’ ministry, that didn't mean I had to stop meeting one-to-one with people. Compared to some, I am an ‘older’ woman in the Lord and so, mindful of Titus 2:3-5, I would catch up with one or two younger Christian women on a weekly basis to read the Bible and pray. This was encouraging both for me and for them, as we wrestled with God's word and attempted to live it out.

5. You too can train others

As a subset of the ministry mindset, I learned to bear in mind the value of training. Why keep your knowledge to yourself when others could possibly benefit? If Greg Clarke, Tony Payne and Matthias Media had not invested time in that writing group all those years ago, I would not have become convinced of the value of writing ministry and I would not be working here today. We also would never have run The Faithful Writer conferences and masterclass. It's always worth asking yourself, “What can I train someone else to do to serve the Lord?” It might be evangelism, welcoming, song leading, preaching, one-to-one discipleship and so on.

6. Team ministry can happen in all sorts of ways

Another subset of the ministry mindset is being a fellow worker—getting alongside others and helping them bring their ideas to fruition. I really enjoyed this aspect of my work at Matthias Media: as an editor, it's part of my job to help our writers say what they want to say in the best possible way, but previously I hadn't conceived of the value of pairing those gifted in communication with those who have the ideas, but not the skills to express them. During my time here, I've had the privilege of creating articles out of audio files, outlines and even a PowerPoint slideshow. Imagine what you could do in partnership with someone else!

7. There is value in thinking outside the box

Finally, I've learned that there is a lot of scope for creativity in ministry. Matthias Media is always thinking of new ways to fulfil our mission statement. How can we reach new people with the gospel? (How about producing this Christmas card?) How can we sharpen people's thinking about the character of God? (What if we created a MiniZine?) How can we persuade more disciples to abandon their lives for Christ's sake? (What about a training course the whole congregation could do?) It's caused me to think about the possibilities in my own life. How can I help my friend think through this theological issue? Maybe I could invite her to read this book with me. How can I sharpen people's thinking about this ethical issue? Perhaps I could write a story about it. It doesn't matter where you are and what you're doing; there will always be ways to give up your life in service to God. Whether you are an architect or an administrator, a pastor or a homemaker, it's not the context and nature of the ministry you do that's important; what matters is working out how to exercise that ministry mindset in your own circumstances. As I leave Matthias Media to embark on that turbulent obstacle course called motherhood for the first time, I will be sure to bear that in mind.