The Discouraging Problem of Poor Attendance

You’ve put in the preparation, worked hard at understanding the passage, thought about the study and how you are going to lead the group through it. You are, in other words, primed and ready to go and then… only two of the seven members of your group turn up on the night.

It’s hard not to feel dreadfully discouraged, isn’t it?

Here are six ideas on how to deal with it…

1. Focus on the positive

Instead of focusing on who isn’t there, be glad about the ones you have with you in the room, and thank God for the chance to share his word with them.

The leader of the home group I attend on a Monday night is a great example of this. Every week he welcomes us very warmly and says how much he appreciates us coming along. At the end of the night, he thanks us again for coming and says (genuinely) how much he has enjoyed the time we’ve spent together. That sort of positive reaction makes me want to keep coming back, and reminds me that he values me being there.

2. Assume good reasons, but not forever

Often people have very valid reasons why they haven’t been able to attend: an urgent work obligation, a sick child, transport problems, and many other unavoidable disturbances in the space-time continuum. So don’t jump automatically to the conclusion that a group member is just unreliable or slack.

But on the other hand, don’t assume good reasons for too long. If someone misses your group, shoot them a text or Facebook message saying: “Missed you Monday night at home group. Everything ok?” It’s not pointed or accusatory—just letting people know they were missed. Yet most people will feel like they ought to give you a return message explaining why they weren’t there. And that’s useful information to a pastoral leader.

If someone misses a couple of group meetings in a row, it’s definitely worth a phone call. And, if their reason for missing the group is not a particularly strong one (“I was tired and just didn’t feel like it” or “life’s really busy at the moment”), it’s worth pointing out that when you get tired or busy, your instinct is also to give it a miss. Yet you find that in those periods of life hearing from God’s word is really important and having the prayerful concern and support of others is one of the ways God helps you through those times. This is true,  of course, but is also a way of pointing out that other people in the group still come when they have those issues.

3. Set expectations in your group

Best done at the beginning of each year is committing together about group expectations in a range of areas (e.g. not talking over or interrupting each other), including the priority we all give to the group. If everyone has agreed upfront, it makes it much easier to deal with the issue through the year. It becomes a simple reminder, either to an individual or to the group as a whole, of the commitment you made to each other.

4. Keep a record

You might actually want to consider keeping track of attendance. We are (I am!) prone to poor recall of who was there and who wasn’t, and so can easily exaggerate a problem, or indeed underestimate a problem, in our own minds. So keep a record of who was in the group each week (after everyone’s gone!). I wouldn’t necessarily recommend bringing to people’s attention the fact that you are keeping track (“Hey, did you know your attendance is tracking at 41.5% this year? What’s with that?”). But tracking attendance is a way of caring.

5. Talk to your church pastor

Sometimes it’s worth a quiet word to your pastor about someone’s poor attendance. He may know more about the person’s situation, or might be in a better position than you to bring it up with them. At the very least, he can join you in prayer and keep an extra eye out for opportunities to minister to the person concerned.

6. Pray about it

I mention this one last, not because it is least important, but because it is the one I most want you to remember. Bring the matter to the Lord in prayer, and ask him to prompt the people you are concerned about to come more regularly, and ask him to give you wisdom in knowing what to say to them.

What other ideas/suggestions do you have? Join the Facebook discussion here.

Ian Carmichael