When cancer comes up in your group

Last year my wife Fiona and I led a growth group together at church. It was a wonderful experience but also very challenging. My chemo cycles meant that I tended to be absent roughly one week in three, and sometimes I wouldn’t know how I’d be until that night. Fiona often covered for me. I suspect that our group was unusual as many in our group had close relatives and friends who were being treated for cancer. One of these patients died and some of us attended the funeral. Add to this people struggling with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, marriage difficulties, stressful work environments, relational conflicts and you can see we had a recipe for a very uncomfortable group.

The reality however was the opposite. We managed to achieve a safe and supportive environment for people to share their heartaches, doubts, struggles, fears and failings. We made prayer a priority. Tears were common and always welcomed. Distractions weren’t—we were always prepared to step aside from the study or discussion to support those who needed it. We looked forward to getting together for mutual encourage from God’s Word and one another.

So what can you do if cancer comes up in your group?

• Assume that it’s accompanied by fear. Cancer is a frightening diagnosis, no matter how bad the prognosis or how resilient the person.


• Encourage your group to support the person—especially if it’s their cancer, but also if it’s someone they care about.


• Ask questions gently… and listen well. You don’t need to have knowledge, answers, or advice for your friend.


• Try to avoid foot in mouth disease by saying things like:
  - I know how you must be feeling. You don’t.
  - Don’t worry. God will heal you/them. He might not.
  - Let me tell you about my aunty, my cat, my neighbour… Please don’t.


• Make a priority of praying for them and learn what to pray. I always pray for healing, but I pray also for their state of mind, relationships, practical needs, their patience and hope. Pray for their soul—that they will take hold of the hope of eternity through Jesus Christ.


• See if there are practical things you can do to be helpful. Don’t wait to be asked (you probably wont get asked), but see if there are specific needs you could meet, such as transport, food, home maintenance, baby-sitting, and the like. If you offer, then make sure you do it!


• See if they need help financially. Being unable to work, accompanied by high costs of treatment can be debilitating for some. Are there ways your group could contribute or raise support?


• Keep track of dates. When do they have treatment? Send an encouraging message to let them know you are thinking about and praying for them.


• Tests and scans can cause significant anxiety. Pray especially at these times.


• If someone can’t make the group. Don’t forget them. In fact do more for them so they know they are loved and not forgotten.


• Perhaps you could give them a copy of Hope Beyond Cure or point them to www.hopebeyondcure.com


• Without diminishing the impact of the cancer, always seek to lift people’s eyes to the wonder of the gospel. Rejoice in the application of God’s word to these difficult circumstances.

Author: David McDonald, Pastor at Stromlo Christian Church, Canberra Australia, and author of Hope Beyond Cure