Talking about sin

How do we talk to each other about our sin? I think the answer to that question comes from how we think about our sin and about each other, and about what it is that Jesus has done for us.

What do we think about sin? Some of us think we don’t really sin. We minimize our sin as ‘mistakes’ or ‘lapses’ or something similar. We fool ourselves into thinking that what we do when we sin against God isn’t really sin. We aren’t like that. We don’t sin. So we get more emotional discomfort from committing a social faux pas and being awkward in conversations than we do when we tell a white lie or gossip. What we do instead is look at sins we can’t imagine ourselves doing, and call them proper sins. The minor things we do don’t compare with those sins.

So we deceive ourselves. Because the Bible tells us that gossip is sin, just as homosexual behaviour is sin. And that pride is sin, just as much as lying or cheating. And that we sin against God when we speak contemptuously about our brothers and sisters. In other words, we all sin and all we sin in ways that matter to God. All the time. Every day.

This is why in 1 John 1:8-9, the apostle both calls on us to be real with ourselves and see ourselves as sinners, and to deal with the impossibility of sinners knowing the living, holy God by running to Jesus. All the time. Every day.

The only possible solution for our sin is what Jesus has already done for us, not any self-help program, strength of will, or determination to change. God may give us all those, and graciously enable us to repent by his strength. But they don’t solve our sin problem. Jesus’ death for us on the cross dealt with our sins once and for all. His grace in taking on all of our sins—willingly, knowing the full cost of paying for them—shows the depth and breadth of his love for us. We live by his grace. We simply can’t fix ourselves.

But Jesus has not left us in our sin and self-deception. He has died for our sins. He has told us the truth about ourselves and what he did for us, so that we can, by his power, change and live lives that demonstrate that we are saints as well as sinners. Saints, holy ones, changed by God, being transformed into Jesus’ image and following Jesus in humility. 

We need to keep these things in our heads as we come to talk about sin, our sin and specific sins with each other. If we can trust each other to be prayerfully caring as we speak about our sins to one other, to direct one other to Jesus, to be sinners speaking to one another rather than looming judges, accepting while rebuking in love, being honest and gentle—then we live out the gospel. The gospel utterly condemns our sin while calling us to trust Jesus to deal with it and empower us to live his way.

So, when at Bible study someone confesses a sin, even a big one, acknowledge the risk they’ve taken in trusting. Be so glad that they aren’t fooling themselves by pretending not to be a sinner. Pray for wisdom and gentleness, and remember that you’re both together in this: both sinners sitting next to each other. Find a way to speak well of Jesus and his death for all our sins. And keep praying for and with that person.