Helping our boys become godly men

O God, from my youth you have taught me,
and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.
So even to old age and grey hairs,
O God, do not forsake me,
until I proclaim your might to another generation,
your power to all those to come. (Ps 71:17-18)

A couple of weekends ago, I attended the buck’s day celebration of a good Christian friend. In many ways it was a fairly ordinary day. Scenes of embarrassing public dress, a few games of bowling, inflatable boxing and fast food meals; in short, a day of good fun and frivolity. One part celebrated the boyish fun that will (in part!) be left behind, another rejoiced in our brother’s upcoming commitment to become a married man.

What was striking about the day, however, was the group of guys that attended. By the time we ate dinner together, there were around 30 blokes, each of whom had been a part of the young buck’s life so far. And as people shared stories, reminisced, and bestowed best wishes and prayers upon my friend, I was excited by the span of ages and relationships that gathered. It was incredible to see in the life of this young man the amazing blessing of God reflected in the church community in which he has been a part.

Four particular relationships were evident on that day.

1. The father figures

The first group were those who ‘fathered’ him. My friend grew up in a fatherless home, a reality for 1 in 5 children in Australia. His mother has done a superb job, raising her children against many difficulties. An important part of her parenting was recognizing that her son needed Christian adult males to lead, train and teach him what it meant to be a godly boy. Thankfully, the church had many such men. Most of these men were fathers of young boys and teenagers themselves. However, they dedicated large parts of their week ministering to children in Sunday School and to boys at a midweek club, which had made a significant impact on my friend’s early life.

2. The mentors

The second group was those about a decade ahead who had mentored and discipled him through his older primary and high school years. This is where I have had the pleasure of leading my friend. With a significant number of others, we have seen this young man take hold of his faith, wrestle with significant spiritual, personal and relational issues, and come out the other side with a strong and firm faith.

3. The peers

The third group were his peers. Unsurprisingly, this group made up the majority of numbers on the day. However, what was significant was that his closest friends were also young men who were a part of his church life. They are the ones who inspire, encourage and spur him on in his growing life in Christ. Having this strong and dependable peer group continues to be of enormous benefit for him (and them) as they stand shoulder to shoulder in life and faith, continuing to sharpen each other in the Lord.

4. The younger guys

The final group were those that he now leads. A number of teenagers were invited to this buck’s day, and a larger number of younger boys will be celebrating with him on the day of his wedding. The gospel relationships have come full circle. He who was once the dependent child, has, in God’s grace, now become the faithful young leader, teaching, training and raising young boys in the faith.

How is your church doing?

Perhaps here we have a living example of boy’s ministry done well. Reflected in my friend is the faithfulness of Christ, ministered through the means of church-based, intergenerational gospel relationships. Here we have four relationships of significant value, which we ought to seek to develop in our churches as we act to raise godly boys and young men. In order to help us move forward, I’ve come up with four diagnostic questions to see how your church is going in ministry to boys and in building these types of relationships:

1. Do we have ‘fathers’ in our churches, equipped and trained to provide leadership and appropriate care of our young boys, with a particular concern to participate in the raising of the 20% in our communities who are fatherless?
2. Do we have faithful male ‘disciplers’ to take on the important role of mentoring older boys and teens in their formative, adolescent years?
3. Are we raising a godly peer group for our boys in which they can continue to wrestle out their forming identity through adolescence and into the young adult years?
4. Are we providing opportunities for the equipping and engaging of young men into appropriate ministry roles for the continuance of raising godly boys in our churches?

The Lord willing, in pursuing these four relationships with the boys in our churches, we will continue to see godly boys being raised into godly men who can in turn pass on the gospel—person to person and generation to generation.

This article was originally published by YouthWorks, and has been modified and republished with permission.